It takes intent to understand the art of listening. Another way to put it is you need to listen with the deliberate intent to understand your speaker. A lot of us tend to listen with the intent to answer. Resulting in us missing what may be some valid or essential points from the person speaking. Furthermore, we will likely be offended when others treat us the same.
The rush to hush
The rush to hush others while they are verbal could be caused by our thinking – we think we already know the answer. Sometimes, we know more about the topic or what they say reminds us of a post we saw. Still, we need to allow the other party to finish what they want to say. It’s okay to forget to mention what you want to say unless your friend asks for your advice. There are times when a person simply wants to be heard. Listening requires you to lay down the desire to control the flow of a conversation.
Quiet your mind
Listening intently will require that you quiet your mind. In this age of easy access to information and nonstop content, our minds can be filled with tons of stuff that may be helpful for the person speaking. However, unsolicited advice may cause more tension and dissatisfaction from them. When you listen to understand, your mind is focused on that person. In addition, your body language will indicate sincere interest by default.
Listen with the ear of your heart
When you listen with the ear of your heart, you allow the speaker the freedom to truly be vulnerable and secure. Therefore, they will likely feel more secure and relaxed to go into the intricate details of what they wish to share with you. It is another form of displaying love for that person. The art of listening is comprised of some skills. It starts with understanding the different listening components, such as:
Join Maryke and Jané Bote in this episode of Real-ationships, as they discuss the importance of thinking and listening well. If you need to talk to someone, then please reach out for free counseling or contact our Youth Centre.