It’s perfectly fine to do online dating ❤️ and use dating apps – just be informed and have realistic expectations. In addition to filtering through numerous conversations and staying up to date with multiple people, you need to guard your heart because you will encounter various characters with their own expectations.
Furthermore, someone you like can ghost you without explanation. On the plus side, we can meet potential partners virtually or in person. Interestingly, over 300 million people use dating apps worldwide, with about 20 million paying for premium features. Furthermore, the variety of apps one can choose from allows you to try one and then move to another. Alternatively, to hasten your search, you can use multiple apps until you find someone you are willing to pursue a serious relationship with. Safe to say, being exposed to that many options can cause more confusion than clarity. Therefore, you must decide what characteristics you want in a potential partner.
Read: Setting boundaries when interacting online
Dating apps: Advantages and disadvantages
The advantages of meeting virtually allow you some level of privacy and security, especially when you realise that you don’t like the person, or they are creepy. In contrast, the disadvantage is that someone can deceive you by portraying themselves in a way that’s appealing to you for as long as you meet virtually.
Therefore, it’s essential to discern and decide when to meet someone in-person. Exploring dating apps will also help you discover whether you prefer doing things the old-fashioned way by spontaneously meeting someone and then deciding to move forward with dating.
Healthy online dating habits
It would help if you learned what healthy online dating habits are to practice ensuring that you enjoy the experience fully but also stay safe. Be sure to go through the community guidelines of your dating app before commencing your search. In the meantime, here are a few tips:
- Set up your profile to represent your authentic self, values, and what you enjoy.
- Set your age limits and other preferences to help ensure you’re exposed to who you want.
- Be honest in your interactions but don’t pour out your whole life story to everyone who matches with you. Keep it neutral.
- Set realistic standards for the plethora of people you’ll encounter. Remember to manage your expectations of them while online.
- Set boundaries for yourself for what you are willing to discuss and what you are not willing to discuss. A person of integrity and value will honour that request. #ProTip, that’s a green flag.
Online dating 101
- There are some sincerely nice people on the online dating streets. However, expect some to be blunt and rude. You don’t have to match their energy. Unmatch and block if needs be. Bear in mind you may fall victim to revenge reporting.
- Be aware that some folks have no moral compass and may request explicit content from you or send you explicit content to entice you. These are usually people who practice the “Hookup Culture“. Most dating apps have rules for this behaviour, but it’s often only reported after you’ve seen the unseeable. Be sure to report the account immediately.
- It’s important you remain vigilant about the realities of human trafficking and how predators track people online to lure them into various forms of modern-day slavery. Fundamentally, none of this information is shared to scare you; instead, it is meant to equip you, so you stay safe while frolicking online.
Be careful how you measure your worth
Be cautious of measuring your worth against how many “right swipes” you receive or if the person you swiped right on didn’t swipe right on you. Meaning if the guy or girl you like has not indicated that they like you. It may seem like a small thing, but we humans are delicate, whether we believe it or not. Consequently, not being matched with someone you find appealing is a form of rejection. Naturally, rejection affects our self-esteem, so be sure to know you are still loved, chosen and uniquely designed by God. Move with that thought in mind, and you’ll see how others’ response or lack thereof has little power over how you view yourself.
You have a life
Lastly, don’t allow usage of the app(s) to consume your life. You have family, friends, school, work, and other responsibilities that do fill your life with goodness as far as you allow it. There is nothing wrong with looking for love. However, it becomes concerning when you disregard all the other good things and your life while pursuing something that is not yet tangible.
Set times and limits for using the app(s) for the hunt.
If you need to talk to someone, don’t hesitate to contact the I Am Youth call centre.
Written by Dineo Phadimenyane.
