Loving difficult people is one of the greatest challenges we face. Yet, Jesus calls us to a higher standard: “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” – Matthew 5:44. This command isn’t just a suggestion—it’s a reflection of the radical love of Christ. But how do we live this out when someone is frustrating, hurtful, or seemingly impossible to love? Here are some practical steps:
1. See Them Through God’s Eyes
Everyone is made in God’s image (Genesis 1:27), even those who irritate or wound us. When we remind ourselves that difficult people are also broken individuals in need of grace—just like us—our perspective shifts. Ask God to help you see them as He does: not just as a source of frustration but as a person He deeply loves.
2. Pray for Them
Jesus specifically instructs us to pray for those who hurt us. While this may feel counterintuitive, prayer softens our hearts and opens the door for God to work in our lives. Instead of focusing on their faults, pray that God blesses them, changes them, and, most importantly, helps you love them with His love.
Read: Thriving vs. toxic relationships
3. Practice Forgiveness
Holding onto resentment only burdens your heart, not theirs. Forgiveness isn’t about excusing bad behavior—it’s about releasing yourself from bitterness. Ephesians 4:32 reminds us, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Reflect on the grace God has shown you and extend that same grace to others.
4. Set Healthy Boundaries
Loving someone doesn’t mean tolerating toxic behavior. Sometimes, the most loving thing you can do is establish boundaries. Boundaries protect your emotional and spiritual well-being while allowing you to love from a safe distance when necessary. It’s okay to say no, limit interaction, or walk away when needed—without harboring hatred.
5. Rely on the Holy Spirit
Loving difficult people is impossible on our own. We need the Holy Spirit to fill us with patience, compassion, and self-control. Galatians 5:22-23 describes the fruit of the Spirit, including love, kindness, and gentleness—all essential when dealing with challenging individuals. Instead of relying on your strength, ask God to work through you.
6. Focus on Your Response, Not Their Actions
You can’t control how others behave, but you can control how you respond. Are your actions, words, and thoughts reflecting Christ? Instead of dwelling on how difficult someone is, focus on your own obedience to God’s calling. Love isn’t about their worthiness—it’s about your faithfulness to God.
7. Trust the Process
Loving difficult people doesn’t mean you’ll see instant change. It takes time, prayer, and persistence. Some relationships may never be easy, but God sees your effort and will honor your obedience. When it feels impossible, remind yourself that loving others isn’t about who they are—it’s about who God is.
Loving difficult people is a journey of faith, humility, and surrender. It’s not about pretending someone isn’t challenging; it’s about choosing love despite the difficulty—just as Jesus decided to love us at our worst.
Written by Kabelo Milton.
The views expressed herein are those of the writer and not I Am Youth.
