Forming online friendships is part of our daily lives, and it is a great thing; Catfishing, not so much.
The 21st Century has brought radical transformation to how we connect with one another. People can form new friendships that become stronger over time while being miles apart. This should encourage us to reimagine what friendships and relationships formed online can or should be. Online dating has brought to light the deep scarring practice of Catfishing.
For those who don’t know, Catfishing someone you met online (and nor IRL or via video call) and they are not who they claim to be online. Yup! In this horror version of the fairy-tale, the wicked witch would be posing as Snow White online to get the Prince hooked and in love so that she can snag that kingdom little by little with no true intention of meeting the Prince or living happily ever after. The trickery has both people investing in a “relationship” where one is entertaining the other for material gain while the other invests their heart and shmoonay. The second person becomes susceptible to emotional damage and ultimate humiliation. It’s unbelievably cruel.
Then there’s a thing called a para-social relationship.
The common para-social relationship, that most of us are participants in, is that of being a fan to a celebrity or influential person who you go gaga over but sadly, they don’t know that you exist. You are emotionally invested in their life happenings so much so that you feel you are in a genuine relationship with them. Turns out, your brain can’t tell the difference. It believes that you and Yoncé are sqaudies. It’s easier to pretend besties with someone who doesn’t know you.
Trouble knocks with the piercing truth that most of us use this form of “friendship” as a distraction from our struggles to form good relationships with real-life people. People you see regularly, whose flaws you know and are exposed to but learn to “tolerate” because you know you’re not perfect too. People who will hold you accountable for your actions and challenge you. All this can be uncomfortable but these are also the experiences that add value to life.
Have you realised that when you don’t have access to your phone, you may just lose your marbles because you feel like a significant part of your life is missing? You can’t see what your celeb-bestie has posted because their posts “give you life”. You need to know what is going on in their lives all the time. What about your life? Adjust your perspective a bit. It is a one-sided friendship that doesn’t benefit you in the many ways your real friendships would/do. You may not realise that you are in a para-social friendship because we’re all blind to the log in our own eyes.
Join Given and Charl to help you introspect and find out if you are in a catfish situationship OR which spectrum of this blurred-chommie scale you may or may not fall on. Better to know now and be awakened than to spiral into a false reality that consumes 95% of your happiness.
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