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When life gets too hard to stand kneel

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There are times when everything gets too much, and you want a ticket outa here. Game. Over. The fat lady has sung. Please end.

Contrary to what one believes in such moments, it’s not a unique experience. Most of us have been in that hopeless moment at least once, while some of us feel like citizens in the land of no hope. I find myself in and out of it; like a well-seasoned traveller, my soul wanders there often. Some people handle things better than others. Does it mean I am a lesser person because I struggle? Clich├ęs, like “It’s not whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get up,” screech like chalk on a board across my mind. If you’re familiar with my fragile state of mind, read on.

Read: The floor is lava.

How about we don’t get up but stay down a while? Maybe crawl to a kneel. Choose not to send up a quick “Please bail me out if you’re there mighty saviour,” but acknowledge your absolute inability to cope. I’ve found that that is a good place to stop. A place of surrender, of admitting failure, of brutal honesty. A place where I allow my being to be scraped clean. It’s only when all my trying to cope, attempting to be strong, faking it for all ceases that I can become still so I can hear better.

One of my favourite scriptures (Ecclesiastes 9:11) says:

The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong.

It’s ok; you can stop trying so hard; that comes later. Let’s first kneel and acknowledge that we can’t get up and need help. It’s in our surrender that we find victory. Not the ‘victory’ you chant like a magic tandra hoping for the best. Victory in discovering how you walk with yourself and God, one tiny step at a time. It’s a bittersweet process, but it’s something no one can take from you. It’s yours; you paid the price for it.

We all need help along the way, and if you ever feel completely lost, reach out. I Am Youth offers free WhatsApp counselling. For more inspiration, you can listen to our podcasts on iono.fm.

Written by: Han

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